I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
