Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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