The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
