I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
