Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
