Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize