so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
