I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
