windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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