I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You don't make any sense
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