I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
