i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
