you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
