Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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