For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
