have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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