The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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