Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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