i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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