Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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