I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
