Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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