real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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