My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
