Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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