Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
