Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
