Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
