Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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