hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
