they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
