Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
