girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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