help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
