im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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