it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
