dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
