i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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