Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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