I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize