we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
