I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
