shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
