they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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