she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
