If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
