Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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