It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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