Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
