If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You are a genius and a whore.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
