I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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