Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
