dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
