I didn't shave. On purpose
Nicole vs. Life
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize