Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
