I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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