cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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