So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
