dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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