do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
